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Dear Faculty Relations: I’m fielding student complaints about a faculty member’s tone in the classroom. I’ve known this colleague for years and I really value them, but sometimes there’s a disconnect between their good intentions and the impact of their words. Can you share ways to address this?  —Frazzled Chair

Dear Frazzled Chair: Addressing student complaints about a colleague’s tone can indeed be challenging, especially when there's a discrepancy between what you’ve come to understand as your colleague’s good intentions and the way they sometimes come across to others. It's important to approach such situations with a mindset that fosters understanding and growth for all parties involved. If we want to repair relationships, we need to separate intent from impact.

We suggest you begin by acknowledging the students’ feelings. Validating their experience can prevent someone from feeling ignored or marginalized. Resist the instinct to defend your colleague. Instead, you might say, "Thank you for sharing this with me. I hear how much this bothered you, and I want to understand more about what happened.” Do your best to understand their experience and tell them that you will address it with the faculty member.

Next, as the supervising administrator responsible for addressing these complaints, engage in a conversation with your colleague about the students’ experience. This isn't about making accusations but rather sharing observations that might help them to understand the difference between what they meant and how their words or tone landed. For example, you might frame this conversation by saying, "I recognize that you didn't intend to cause any distress, and the way the words came across had a significant impact on this student." The use of the word “and” here is intentional and important. It helps keep the focus on the impact and validates your colleague’s good intentions.��

Our goal is to foster a culture of authentic curiosity in ourselves and others by inquiring about others’ experiences without judgment. Instead of focusing on intentions, we should focus on repair and learning. This creates opportunities to demonstrate how conflicts can be managed constructively and leads to stronger connections between our students and our colleagues.

Written by Julie Volckens, Senior Director of Assessment and Prevention and Teresa Wroe, Assistant Vice Chancellor of Prevention & Deputy Title IX Coordinator, Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance

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